Although I’ve always been a people person and loved being around others almost 100% of the time, I’ve also always been really independent when it comes to my relationship with Steve. I had a lot of friends in high school that I felt would drop all their friendships when they were in a relationship and I never wanted to do that with my friends, so I sometimes hardly saw Steve at the beginning of our relationship, and even when we lived together, I often went out without him, and really kept my independence and being an individual a priority.

Then I went away to school and we spent 2 1/2 years being apart. I hated a lot of things about it, but to this day, I really value the fact that i was able to experience college on my own, grow, discover who I am, and have the experience of living with my best friend. When I would come home to visit, I felt like I had to spend every moment with Steve before we would be apart again, so when I moved back for good in 2009, I fell right back into that, and spent every waking moment with Steve. We began to meld our lives more, and more, and before I knew it, I was definitely more a part of an “us” than a “me”. I didn’t feel like I had lost myself, but I did begin to lose sight of my independence and why it is important to me.

We’ve come a long way. but it’s still a struggle sometimes to find balance. And then, sometimes, life forces balance on you, and I kind of feel like life is a bit of a jerk, but I guess it’s okay and all for the best and all that stuff.

Yesterday, Steve left for a 5 week trip to California. He got a fancy new job that is based there, and he will be able to work from home, and then he will be here all the time and I will probably wish he was back in LA, but he has to go there for training first. Obviously, I was thrilled about him leaving. I even helped him pack. I’m such an awesome wife.

You're welcome!

I also definitely did not unpack the things he’d already packed and hide them. That would not be a fun game. For him. Anyway, the silver lining in all of this (other than, you know, the whole awesome jump for Steve and his career) is that I have the next 5 weeks to refocus on some of my independence, as well as other relationships with family and friends. Although I already miss him a lot and kind of wish the 5 weeks was up, I also know that we have the rest of our lives to spend together, and it’s good for me to focus on myself as well. Not to mention that I already signed up to leave him for 6 weeks this summer to go play at theatre camp, so I guess we’re even. 😉

So for the next 5 weeks, I will be focusing on being comfortable spending time with myself, having awesome workouts, putting quality time into family and friendships, and cleaning my house. Come on Ari, let’s keep this honest.

I know some people really enjoy their alone time…If you were left alone for a month, would you be excited or bummed? What would you do? If you already live alone, do you like it?


  1. says

    I honestly don’t know how I would react if my husband had to leave for a month; I hate when he leaves on business trips now :) But I do manage to get more accomplished during the time he is gone, mostly because I tend to procrastinate so I can hang out with him…

    We lived apart for a year while we were engaged and I HATED it, but I agree that you definitely learn a lot about yourself when you are away from your significant other. Although I would never do it again, we ended up seeing it as a positive because we got through it and realized how strong our relationship was.

    So cheers to your independence and lots and lots of new baked goodies I’m sure you will whip up while he’s away. If you need help eating them…well, you know…I’m here :)

  2. says

    I would love time alone..having alone time is huge for me! My man went away for a week last yar and while I mised him I loved al my alone time..I don’t think I left the house would prolly b dif if my man didn’t work from home but I think seperate time is ver impt.

  3. Christina Vander Werf says

    I would be totally bummed if my hubby left for a month. A weekend… now that I could get excited about :-)

  4. says

    I live alone and love it! I’m sure when I get married I’ll pick someone I enjoy spending time with, but I know I’ll also still luxuriate in the time I get the house to myself!

  5. says

    I’d be so sad for Kevin to leave for a month!!!!! Before him, however, I LOVED being alone and would be so happy when my best friend/roommate would be gone. Just sayin’!

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